Approach and Avoidance Motives for Sacrifice

Approach and Avoidance Motives for Sacrifice

Reviewed by Faisal Zaidi

Giving up a preference to reach a good outcome for a partner versus to prevent a bad one; the two went with different relationship outcomes in a diary study.

What it is

Emily Impett, Shelly Gable and Letitia Peplau asked dating couples to record their everyday sacrifices for two weeks. Sacrifices made for approach reasons, such as making a partner happy, went with better relationship quality. Sacrifices made for avoidance reasons, such as avoiding conflict or a partner's disappointment, went with worse quality and lower stability over time.

In effect

In the article on why we people-please, it separates giving that comes from care from giving that comes from fear of friction.

What it does not say

It describes associations in dating couples' diaries. It does not say that sacrifice is bad, and the study does not show cause and effect.

Sources

  1. Impett, E. A., Gable, S. L., & Peplau, L. A. (2005). Giving up and giving in: The costs and benefits of daily sacrifice in intimate relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 89(3), 327-344.